Two options

She is wondering if she will ever get things right.  She is frustrated and tired of looking at houses; finding something that will work only to have it not be for her.  She is behind on the laundry.  She hasn't been exercising for weeks.  She eats too many chocolate covered pretzels.  She feels like a burder to her friends and an extreme failure as a mother.  She should be more patient and understanding.  She wants to scream when its bedtime and she is trying to get all five children to fall asleep in the same room.  In her heart she believes and trusts yet at times the darkness surrounds her and she feels heavy and discouraged.  She knows she has blessings yet she is drowning in the mess.  She hasn't been volunteering at school.  She forgets to check the website for what the kids need to bring to school and then causes embarassment to her little loves.  She drives the kids to school in her pajamas and glasses.  She has lost her sense of style.  She wants to write and read and create yet has little to no time to do any of it.  She can't sleep.  She lays there thinking about all the things she is doing wrong and all the ways she is failing.  The baby has a fresh set of stitches.   Her jeans are too tight.  She wonders if she should be working; making money to change this situation.  She feels like she is always behind on everything.  The kids were late to school again.  She wishes it would snow so much that she could hibernate for a while.  She is trying desperately to be brave.  Her daughter cracked her front adult tooth to the nerve - what is going on?  She wonders.  She needs to renew her costco membership.  She misses her art room - how selfish.  She can't answer the question 'how are you?' without fighting back tears.  She feels ridiculous.  She failed with dinner again.  She can't keep anything clean.  She sometimes wishes that quitting was an option.  She has two options - laugh or cry.  She starts to cry; she wants to sob.  She laughs anyway.

E