Thursday, July 28, 2011

Flying Lessons

Lesson 21:
I make the Rules
This is a lesson that I had to re-learn at Brave Girl Camp.  I went through the early part of my life with a set of rules that I had created for myself.  I knew where I wanted to go to college, what friends I wanted, what situations I was and was not willing to be in, who I would date, and so on.  In order to achieve these things I had RULES for myself that I followed.  And then I got married and had a family and I've just been so busy with LIFE that I haven't stopped to set out my new rules.  Some rules I believe are set by GOD and those rules never change.  Other rules I have set for myself and they are a result of defining what I want my life to be - how I want my time spent and by what rules will I decide how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and how happy I am.

I have NEW rules.  I made these rules to help me stay focused on what really matters in my life.  There are a lot of people who expect a lot of things from me; some of them have a right to expect from me and they should (like my children) others expect things from me which I am not in a position to deliver, or I don't want to meet their expectations because that is not who I am.  There is a great sense of freedom that comes with having rules - now when something comes where I have a choice to make I know what questions to ask myself to help me arrive at the decision that is right FOR ME.

Have you seen that movie Secretariat?  I love that movie.  I especially love the part where Penny Tweedy is at a press conference and they ask her if she feels stressed by the pressure put on her to guarantee wins and she says something like "It's just like every other million dollar decision us housewives make every day."  I like that because it really is true.  However small some choices may be in my home each day, the results down the road for my family are HUGE.  The choice might be do I committ more time to the pta or do I spend more time one on one with the kids?  This is a million dollar decision.  No, I don't have to worry about guarantees I've made for Triple Crown winners, yet in my home happiness for our family and our life is infinitely more important than the triple crown.  I'm so happy to be re-focused on what matters most to me.  Happiness matters, memories matter, doing what is morally RIGHT matters.  Raising a family matters.

1 comment:

  1. HI Em- I am just catching up on your blog. I am so happy for you to have spent 2 weeks at brave girls! How cool that Maddie and Sav could come for the second week. I love this idea. I think we sometimes get stuck in a rut with what we expect of ourselves. I am learning to say no and not feel guilty about things that are not my top priorities. It takes practice but I am getting better. Miss you!