Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Flying Lessons

Lesson 26: Happiness and pain seem to always present themselves simultaneously.

 It should be against the rules of life for Moms to get sick.Seriously.  I usually get sick after the kids get it - right? That way you can take care of the kids and then slowly work through it yourself afterwards.  Not this time.  We have all been wiped out, laying on the couch together, watching movies and eating soup.  There was a lot of moaning and crying too.  Just when I thought we had worked our way through that virus the stomach flu arrives.  Ugh.  This too shall pass, and its all fine, but I really think that it should not be allowed for Moms to get sick.  there is just too much to do!  There have been so many painful and hard things in life in the past several years, months and weeks.  At the same time there have been things that I love and that are little miracles and blessings.  My challenge remains balancing the two and choosing to not stay stuck on the pain.  I constantly struggle with this.  There are parts of my life that I absolutely LOVE and parts of my life that wrap me in pain and darkness.  I feel stuck in between the two.  I realize I have much to be thankful for.  I also sometimes find myself wondering HOW it is exactly in many other areas of my life that "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."  Maybe I'm the only one who does this, but it's a tough one for me.  Maybe its especially obvious with my 32 week pregnant emotions, I'm not sure.  I just know that I do find joy in many things in my life; there are many things I want to change and there are yet others I feel bound to live with yet do not enjoy at all.  I'm hoping that sometime before my life is finished I will know how to fly above all of it.

1 comment:

  1. I would definitely not discount the power of pregnancy emotions! But there are some actual hard things in your life, too, and there's nothing wrong with owning them. I did love President Uchtdorf's talk at the Relief Society broadcast. It was so insightful in these matters. You are loved and known, Em. Keep flying.