Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Flying Lessons

Lesson 27:  It is ok to have help.  I am still ok if I need help.
I am a pretty independant, do it yourself person.  As far as my parents have said, that started at a young age and came with my personality.  I like feeling like I can do things on my own and I feel strong when I can complete a project or event or anything without help.  Having said that; I also get tired.  I get tired of always having do it on my own.  I know; I'm such a contradiction.  I like to do it and feel strong yet I realize I'm not always strong and when I'm not I like help.  The problem comes when I realize I need help much later than I actually do, and in the interim I isolate myself and that never goes well.

I have had a lot of times in my life recently, and in the past several years, where there is no way I can make it through without help.  And I'm not just talking about the help that comes from God, divine strength which is always what ultimately keeps me moving.  I'm talking about people who are the literal angels in my life on a regular basis.  I've been blessed to be part of a really great family with a lot of members and incredible heritage and an amazing network of caring friends.  I have been the recipiant of so many generous acts and prayers and emotional support and temporal support and 'help' of every kind you can imagine.  I hope in the future to be on the giving end rather than this one.  I have had times when it has made me REALLY uncomfortable and feel bad about myself for needing or accepting the help.  And then I've realized how I feel when I get to help someone else in that way.  And I realized what a blessing it is TO ME when I get to be the giver.  In the end, when we need help and caring people come to offer that help, we both receive blessings.

I don't think that God ever intended for us to go through this life doing everything alone; that is why he left us with his Holy Spirit.  Even God was not ok with leaving us alone and comfortless.  So why do we beat ourselves up over it when we DO need the help?  I am done doing that.  I am so grateful to the many people who help me in all aspects of my life and I can say it now:  Sometimes I need help.  And I am still good enough and capable enough and just ENOUGH when I need help.

E

2 comments:

  1. just catching up on your posts. your blog is fantastic! and you are fantastic. so many of your posts i feel take the words right out of my mouth. so glad we are friends. xoxo!

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  2. Your thoughts really resonate with me today. Last week in GD we had a lesson from Romans and I studied grace all week. I think some of accepting help for me is learning to use the atonement in a very practical way. I still struggle at times thinking I should do it all/can do it all and then I feel miserable when I fail. I am trying to do better about turning to the Lord, realizing I can't do it and connecting with Him, getting help much earlier and more consistently. I love your comments at the end about being enough. It seems in the church we focus so much on eternal progression and works sometimes that we forget about the amazing grace of the Lord. Our imperfect selves ARE enough. No, I am not finished, whole or perfect, but I am enough and God loves my imperfect self.In fact, my weaknesses are because he loves me and wants what is the best for me, even when that is really hard.

    I wish that informed my life and self concept so much more. I am working on it. I can say I am enough, but I have to feel it through the love of the Lord and trust Him. Sorry for the rambling. Thank you for being brave with your emotions and thoughts. You inspire me! Here is to letting others help us, realizing that it is part of God's plan and actually feeling ok about it. Love you! xoxo

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