Sunday, April 15, 2012

Light No. 15

I've had some dark glasses on this week; or something.   I wasn't feeling super great and the transmission went out on my van.  It's been an interesting week getting around with only one vehicle and I'm really hoping to have mine back tomorrow.  I don't really enjoy the whole debate about do we fix the van do we not is this going to be the end of repairs for now or should we stop?  I don't feel like its the right time to go buy a new family car, nor can the budget support it so fixing it is what we chose.  I hope it works out ok.

On the upside, being stuck at home all week, I'm completely caught up on the laundry and house is in pretty good shape.  I did great on the nap schedule for Faye this week and hope we are establishing some healthy patterns.  I've worked with Emma on her letters and sounds each day and I'm fairly sure she will be reading by summers' end.  I've played a lot of trains and cars with Clark and realized how much more grown up he looks lately.  I had a few friends over and loved catching up and spending time with them.

I've spent time literally STARING at my seeds and garden starts.  It is completely ridiculous how fascinated I am with plants and growing things.  I loved watching the seedlings follow the light this week.  It's amazing.  It has caused me to wonder how much better off I would be if I spent more time each day leaning toward the light and away from the shadows.

I gave the boys two very un-professional looking hair cuts last night and hope my lack of skills turns positive before they stop allowing it.  Christian was very patient but made sure to let me know that he wasn't thrilled about my un-professionalism.  I may be watching some tutorials on boys hair cuts this month.  I'm sure that's available on line somewhere right?  Everything else is!

I realized this week that too often I'm in a position of focusing on "hanging in there" rather than on really thriving and positively moving forward.  It's a tought one for me.  In some areas I don't see the 'hanging in there' part ever changing to happiness and then I have to ask myself what I'm in control of and what choices I have and what am I going to do about it?  Then it gets harder for me all over again.  I have a lot to think about tonight so I'm going to bed early!  I am going to remember to look at the light and the sunrise tomorrow and hope to find new ways to bring the sun back into those corners of myself that are wilting.

Here's to getting up tomorrow and trying again to be whom God sent me here to be.
Sailing on,

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