Thursday, May 17, 2012

Light No. 19

Last Week owned me.  I'm still trying to re-group.  I'm not sure what it was about it that still has me exhausted, frustrated, stressed and just plain discouraged.  I'm working on getting out of the funk this week {I started P90X} but I think it has something to do with the end of the school year and the madness that comes with it.

I have been away from the house on appointments and errands more than usual and that always makes it more difficult for me to keep this place in order.  The van has been back and forth between the shop so many times I'm losing count and it's getting old.  {as in me, the van, and the situation!}

The weather has been beautiful and the garden is progressing nicely.  I love seeing bulbs coming up in the flower beds and I can't remember exactly what they are supposed to look like so it will be a fun surprise when they flower.

Soccer is finished and that is a relief.  We need to have our saturdays back for a few weeks.  Football has two more weeks and I am excited that I will actually get to go watch now that soccer is finished.

Mother's Day was great and not so great.  Great because Kurt did all the cooking and cleaning up and it was nice to take a break.  I received nice gifts and had a fun day.  Not so great because I had a few children who made some wrong choices and there is nothing like feeling like a failure of a mother on mother's day like having your children do something they know they shouldn't do!  We spent the better part of the afternoon looking for them {they left the house without asking, and were at a friend's house down the street on a sunday and without permission}.  It made me sad and is most likely part of my discouragement.  I feel like I need some serious mothering help around here.  In some places I feel so stuck and like nothing is working.  At the dentist yesterday they told me how well behaved and nice mannered my children all were.  I was wondering if we were talking about the same people that live here at home with me?

I guess the good news is that I haven't given up.  That school is out in one week.  That I'm still growing and learning and trying to not raise my voice in the mean time.  I'm trying to write more notes and give more hugs but more often than not I'm falling short.  I am formulating a plan for the summer as to how everyone can  help and do their math sheets and be happy each day.  I'm praying a lot.  And counting on that to carry us through.

Sailing on,

1 comment:

  1. I have been struggling lately with children to do not obey. Like, at all. In order to get either of my older kids to do something I have to ask several times and usually have to yell or get upset before it's done. The problem is that I'm really not sure what to do about it. It really makes me feel like a failure. They already spend so much time in time-out for fighting, if I did time-out for not obeying I'm pretty sure they'd be on their beds all day. It gets frustrating.

    Yesterday was Isaac's preschool graduation and his teacher talked about how good of a helper he was. He was always the one to clean up when asked and even continued cleaning up once they had all moved on to other things if something wasn't cleaned up right. The whole time I'm thinking is that the same kid who can't throw any article of clothing in the laundry basket ever even when he takes them off right next to it. They always go on the floor. Is it also the same kid who still hasn't cleaned up the toy room floor even though it was his Saturday job. It's now Thursday night. He can't play with friends until it's done but apparently he doesn't care.

    I guess we all feel like failures at times. I know I don't see you often but I would say that you're doing a pretty great job with those kids and you are a fantastic mother.

    Sorry for the novel comment. I hope you have a better week.