Sunday, July 1, 2012

Light No. 26

The first half of the week was a blast.  I was soft-spoken, fun and smiling.  We played with friends and got our shirts ready for Independence Day.
Enter car accident.  I let the stress of it all get the better of me and have spent the remainder of the week between phone calls and realizing I am worried about other things as well.

We leave for the beach this week and I'm not excited about putting my body into a swimsuit for a week for all the world to see.  Isn't that silly?  I know we will have a wonderful family vacation and make great memories and be happy and play and have so much fun and I'm worried about that baby weight.  It's silly really but it's real as well.  I keep telling myself its ok, I'm working on it, this takes time.  Then other days I cry, other days I eat too much, but most days I do my workout and eat good food and try to see the big picture.  Which is why I like writing these LIGHT posts on sunday evenings.  I get a chance to sit down and think about what has been going on and how I really feel about it and what choices I am going to make this week to change what I don't like and to continue what is working.

The children are all over tired from so many nights in a row of having friends over for dinner and enjoying the late night temperatures which make it bearable to play in the yard.  At 9pm last night I wanted to start yardwork just because it finally felt ok to be pulling weeds.  I have a new fence in the backyard waiting the addition of a gate that will be the entrance to the garden area, thanks to my husband.  I have tired children from sleeping out on the trampoline, playing late with their dad, and watching Oklahoma!  When I really think over it, I realize it's a good reason to be tired, fun activities spent with eachother and those we love.  How can I rob them of these memories which I cherish from my own childhood in the name of reasonable bedtime hours?

I'm craving more organization in several areas of the house, all the while knowing it will not be happening until summer's end.  I'm reminding myself how quickly that will come and how very much I want the memories to be sweet and full of family.

I'm noticing the sunset each evening and remembering how light changes everything.  I just hope it's changing me too.

sailing on,

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