Sunday, February 17, 2013

Nurture, No. 7

Happy week 7.  Seven weeks.  I'm thinking about if I am ok with that so far this year.  Not really.  I'm already wishing I had made more progress and I don't even want to talk about the state of my body right now so I'll leave it at that.

Nurture.  I have been trying so hard to remind myself about this word.  I have been reminding myself that this is the life I wanted and that I am living it by my choice.  I'm sure that sounds silly -- it isn't that I am unhappy with it at all, I would choose it again over and over again.  I choose it again each morning when I wake up.  Sometimes when it all is exhausting and I'm just plain worn out and not performing so hot I feel like quitting {for a few days} and these are the times I remind myself that
1. I know many people who would love to have my life, and 2.  I chose this life and if there is something I want to change about it the power to change that lies within myself.

The week flew by so quickly -- I'm happy that I take photographs every day so I can look back and remember what has happened.  Sometimes I say to Kurt remember that {enter event} that we did a few days ago?  Doesn't that seem like it happened a long time ago because so much has happened since then?  It's all good, it's just busy.

Notice the needs:  I am genuinely happy with the extra effort I put into this area and the results.  As it has always been said:  Children spell love T-I-M-E.  An Uno game here, a book reading there, some snuggles on the couch even when I'm very busy, looking at a football clip together, listening to something I already know and have already heard but which needs hearing again because the teller needs to be listened to.  I'm getting better, incrementally, but that's progress.

Understanding:  I can't say I've gained in this area this week.  Moving forward...

Read:  I am currently rotating my reading through several books I am really enjoying.  I love good books.  Thank you writers for your talent.

Tune in:  While tuning in this past week I listened to myself a little bit enough to know that I have some really sad habits that need changing.  It is so hard when the thing that needs to change is me!  Can I have another answer?

Use time wisely:  The thing about this area is that I have to be careful how I measure this.  Was it a wise use of time to sit down and watch Man From Snowy River with my children this week?  Surely I could have used that time to clean the hall closet or mop the dirty floor or paint the half finished bathroom.  But I had a sad, sick baby to cuddle and others who needed me close by to be sure of me.  I've made progress on my Scrappy Swoon Along and I love it.  Now I am piecing the back.

Reach out:  I am turning into a hugger!  And that isn't really 'me'.  But people need hugs and they love them.  Try it, it works. We except for the times when children yell "I don't want a hug!" Which really means that they NEED a hug but are too upset to allow it.  So you have to sneak it in.

Energy:  I have got to kick this sickness that I have had for way too long.  I'm going back to the gym this week regardless.  This needs to change.

We had a good Valentines Day.  The house is in pretty good shape.  I'm getting rid of a few things each week that I don't need to keep around (this is very hard for me to do so this is a huge accomplishment). I'm totally caught up on the laundry and all the clothes are put away.  Until tomorrow.  My bedroom is spotless and it's been at least a year since it was that clean.  I love it clean and I'm going to make an effort to keep it that way.   We had a fun weekend that included ice cream sundaes with friends, cousins, movies, a day out together to see a 3D movie about baby fuzzy animals, and frozen yogurt.  It is easy for me to overlook all the drops of awesome when I focus on the fights that took place about seating in the van (in spite of the fact that we have assigned seats), the football being thrown all over the house and occasionally at my head, the wii being turned on before morning jobs are complete, the messy bedrooms and dirty clothes on the floor....
Something came to my mind while standing in the parking lot AFTER a movie and frozen yogurt listening to children bicker.  I heard it several years ago on a "Family Answers" vhs put out by the church.  A counselor who works with families said "I'm not much of a believer of quality time over quantity family time.  You just have to be together in order for the quality to come out".
The more I experience time with my family the more wise I find this statement to be.  Sure, we have rough patches and junk every day.  But if I focus on that I will miss all the beautiful moments we have just as frequently.  Everything takes practice to be good at it and to produce high quality work.  Doesn't the same principle apply to me being a parent and to my family?

As I try each day to be who I think God wants me to become I realize that I am a slow learner.  And that's why His patience and grace are so miraculous.  He isn't angry with me.  He is still there.  He provides safety for my soul and waits patiently.  Is that not the perfect description of the best Father there ever was?
Sailing On,

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