Life's Changing

The past two weeks have brought some big changes around here.  I pulled all the children out of school and we began homeschooling.
It was a tough choice, and a long time in coming.  I've debated this on and off for years, always coming up with a reason about how the dynamics are too hard or how I didn't know enough.  Well too much continued to happen at school that was completely non curriculum related that made me realise that my children have lost a good part of their love for learning.  They had become too worried about being in trouble and the joy was gone.  Learning was a tiresome chore that was relentlessly being pushed on them.  The school continued to move toward more rules and less allowance for children to act like... children.
Am I scared?  Absolutely.  Am I worried that I won't do it exactly right?  I know I won't.  But the school wasn't doing it exactly right either.  And if it doesn't go well I can ALWAYS put them back in school.  Do all 6 of the children quietly sit down at the table exactly on time and silently begin working without bothering each other [or me]?  NO.  But we are going to figure this thing out.  It's a great new adventure for me and I'm happy about the challenging of sharpening my mind again and re-learning a lot right along side my children.  I'm happy that they have time to read everyday [without having to log the minutes] and to play, and to talk to me.  Is it a lot of work for me right now?  Yes, until we 'decompress' from the unhappiness we have and get in a groove it's a challenge.  But I still know it's the right thing for right now.  I don't know how long it will be right; I just know that it's right at this moment.  And all of my concerns about not knowing enough or not being smart enough or not having enough patience or the right curriculum or not having any personal time for myself can't negate the fact that I know this is the right thing for my family right now.  Knowing that is the only thing that is allowing me to do it.

So last week we went to Mt. Rushmore, in the middle of the week, for two nights.  It was our first field trip.  We learned a lot, we had fun, we fought too and drove each other a little crazy in the car for all of those hours.  But we came back knowing more and I like to think that we came back a tiny bit better than we left.

Monday we spent the day at the Museum of Nature and Science.  We are spending a little bit of time doing math and history and a lot of time reading and gardening.  I'm not sure how it will all work out yet; until them I'm hanging on to my knowledge that this is the right thing.

I hope I can successfully make it a great, happy year.
E