Sunday, May 24, 2009

Wizard of Oz News Flash: Munchkin #7 Steals the show!!!

While I was hardly in the right state of mind (or body) to fully enjoy the show, Savanna was by far the cutest and most fun to watch (for me of course) actress on the stage!  I would not recommend coming straight off congestive heart failure from the hospital to sitting for a 3 hour show in which your child only performs at the very beginning and the very end.  I am ashamed to say that if it had been closer to home I would have gone to bed and slept the 1.5 hours in between.  
Savanna was very serious about fulfilling her part to perfection and did an awesome job of singing, dancing, and making sure that silly straw hat stayed in the right place!  :)  I am so happy that she had a good experience AND that the show is now OVER.  No more rehearsals and rush sewing jobs that my mom graciously comes to finish for me because I am out of commission or anything like unto it.  Madeline has announced that she too plans to audition for a part of next year's show.  Hmmmm.  We will see about that.  

I have to share what happened this week that just proves what an awesome mom I am!  (This is where you start laughing hysterically)  Sitting at the table waiting for breakfast the other morning the kids were singing primary songs because the waffles were taking way too long.  We asked Emma if she would like to choose a song from nursery to sing and she immediately starts to sing "keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding, bleeding in love......" in her adorable two year old voice.  Yes, ladies and gentleman that confirms what we have all been wondering - I am the winner of the Mom of Year {NOT} award.  I ask my child for her favorite primary song and she begins to sing one of her Mom's favorite songs of the past year, 'Bleeding Love'.  What can I say, you can't ALL be like me!   ha.  I guess that's one of the most humbling things about raising children.  They put your faults on full blast and then go out in public parading them around.  If you are a parent and you don't know what I am talking about ..... well lets just say you don't know what I am talking about YET.  ha.  

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Great Debate is Over {unofficially}

The debate has been long and hard fought in my family.  Which is worse:  Childbirth or having a Kidney Stone?  Since I have been through childbirth 5 times, one being fairly recent, I have a pretty good memory of that experience.  With the kidney stone episode being less than a week past, I have to say I owe my Dad and my brothers an apology:  Kidney stone pain is equally excruciating as childbirth.  It is worse because unlike contractions, you don't get a thirty second break in between to breath and prepare for the next wave of pain.  However, I maintain my position that childbirth is much harder for a few reasons:  - You are pregnant for 9 months before you even get to that point {need I say more?}
- After the birth is over you still have tons of healing to do and are sore all over!  It is months before you can really fully function like you did before.  
-The birth is just the beginning - now you have someone else you get to care for FOREVER. {not saying this is a BAD thing, just that it is hard}
- Your body is now changed and will never again see its same form.  It's ugly.  Speaking for myself here, strictly myself. 

So that's it.  Props to my Dad and brothers who have suffered through multiple stones.  If you don't believe me - well, you should.  DON'T TRY IT - ok!  And if you were wondering what your week would be like if you spent it all in the hospital and if you did the kidney stone, kidney failure, pulmonary edema and bradycardia all in a matter of 5 days - let's just say I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN.  EVER.  take my word for it on that one. 

On a happier note, my kitchen floor is now clean.  Wish I could say it was because I did it.  Nope, all thanks to Aunt Sue! 

Lastly, since Madeline is always drawing up these nice little riddles for us to solve, I thought it would be appropriate to share them here in case I get stumped and need help.  Yes, I am fully aware that it is a bit odd that an 8 year old would rather draw riddles than ride her bike outside with her siblings, what can I say - Madeline is a truly unique, bright and beautiful child! 

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Heaven Help Me!

Guilt.  Embarrassment.  Failure.
That seems to pretty much sum up how I feel lately.  What is it about Mothers' Day that leaves me feeling like even more of a complete failure of a mother than I already did?  Seriously.  I
 was served breakfast in bed this morning.  Kurt made biscuits and gravy with scrambled eggs.
  Apple Cider.  I love this.  I am to stay out of the kitchen and am supposed to rest, right?  Well this leaves me plenty of extra time to think about all the ways I have no measured up this past year.  And the list is long.  
At the top of the very long list is the state of my house right now.  That's where Embarrassment comes in.  I mean, I clean it ALL THE TIME {at least it feels that way}.  BUt its ALWAYS cluttered, and I mean always.  Someone shows up yesterday to bring dinner (I keep telling
 people CLARK had surgery, NOT ME - I am fine and able to cook!)  and yea just walking into my house you can see its in disarray.  My sewing machine (with project) has been on the dining room table for 3+ weeks.  My office has stacks and stacks of papers on BOTH desks and a big
 box of stuff on the floor that I should have sold on ebay last month.  Oh and let's not even talk about the kitchen floor because seriously its a hazard,  if you go in you may get stuck and not
 make it back out!  Naturally that would be from the many spills of hot chocolate, apple cider
 and milk over the past week.  And don't go anywhere NEAR Emma's chair.  I have no idea how
 she does it but I think I saw rice stuck to the UNDERSIDE of the chair.  Little surprises like that everywhere.  What to do? I keep saying I WILL keep this place looking better but then I get that one hour in the afternoon where Clark and Emma are both asleep and yes I should clean and pick up toys and books but I find myself wanting to do letters with Christian and
 jump on the computer instead.  Its bad.  I feel great about the letters with Christian part, he is doing great.  Its a fun time for us and he calls it our "brain practice" time.  Its the only time of
 day he gets me alone for 20 minutes and I enjoy every second of it.  But I'm sure I could do without checking my email and getting wishful decorating ideas from pottery barn, I mean really how shallow am I? 
Another part of this is that I REFUSE to have all the housework and chores be my responsibility alone.  I suppose I could fold the laundry and run it up and put it all away so that I never have clothes out, but I feel that it is important for my children to take their basket of clean clothes up the stairs, put them away, and bring their dirties back down if they want them clean.  Am I crazy?  I really think they should each do their part around here.  It WOULD be easier to just clean up their room for them because it would take all of 10 minutes and it would stay that way until they got home from school {HA!} YET.... I cannot bring myself to do it very often.  I want THEM to realize that it only takes 10 minutes and that they can do it.  And they should.  In my opinion.  It may be harsh but its how I feel.  

Savanna is nearing her acting debut in the Wizard of Oz as Munckin #7 and I am sorry to say I have only seen her part ONCE.  A friend from school has been bringing her home after the
 practices so I haven't even been there.  Can you say absent mother?  OH and yea, notice how badly she needs her hair cut.  yikes.  She is still adorable though.  

Emma I am sure would not be nearly as destructive as she is if I were watching her all the time.  She needs 24 hour surveilance.  How do you spell that word?  No idea.  She wants me to read to her all the time and its so cute how she backs up into your lap with her blankie.  What kind of mother are you when you tell her sorry only 3 books and then its time for bed?  AHHH!  And if I would have gone upstairs with her this morning to put her in the shower 2 minutes earlier I could have prevented the painting all over her legs she did with a brand new stick of mascara.  thats nice. 
Christian is an awesome boy who deserves more fun outings to the park and baseball games.
  Most of this past year he has either been told no because I was pregnant, sick and tired; or because we were already late to the doctors office or because Clark was in the hospital or at the doctor office AGAIN!  Poor kid.  This is how he feels about that:

Madeline has finished her many hours of  occupational therapy and in now in an anxiety disorder therapy group.  While I am fairly sure that a good part of this comes through the blood (I have been told it is hereditary and runs strong) I also know that the rest is my fault for sure.  She is the most responsible, worried, helpful, over-protective big sister a person could have.  And I have had high expectations for her.  Which I am sure makes it all worse.  I am looking foward to a fun summer for her and Savanna both - they have worked very hard this year at school.  

And Clark, poor Clark.  I am so relieved that surgery is over.  I am so thankful that we had an excellent surgeon and that he was able to correct the hernia that he found at the same time.  So glad he found it!  I hope I can nurse Clark back to better health and get him the physical therapy he needs to get moving and growing and being a 'normal' kid!  These past few days without the feeding tube have been wonderful.  So much easier.  No more gear to haul around and no more changing out the tube.  I am fairly sure he looks at me as someone who is always causing him pain - since I have been the one caring for the tube and since I feed him and every time he has eaten since he was born has been painful.  This little guy needs a new start and I hope and pray he is about to get it. Thankfully the surgery was done laprascopically so rather than being slashed open and have a huge scar with a bunch of stitches he has these 5 little 'holes' that are just derma-bonded (that's just a fancy way of saying super glue for the skin!) back together!  Right now I think his tummy looks a bit scary because he is so small but I am being told that in a year or so you will have to look hard to find them and they will be tiny pinpoint scars.  The best part {in my opinion} about minimal invasive surgery is that there is no need for moving organs around and so it dramatically lessens the chance for other issues to arise.  That, along with no stitches or large wounds open for infection, makes me so much more grateful for technology and for fabulous doctors and a great surgeon.  You can tell also in this photo how puffy he has been from the iv fluids, along with the swollen belly.  The gradual feeding schedule after the surgery was a bit rough [3 hours after he could have 1 oz, then 3 hours later 1.5 oz, you get the idea] so they made sure to keep him hydrated and yesterday he looked a little like the pillsbury dough boy.  Don't get me wrong, thats a welcome change from the skinny bones we are used to.  I just hope it's here to stay.  
Anyway, here's to a cleaner house and less guilt next year.  Maybe if I get locked in the house for the next 12 months I could catch up on half of what I am behind on.  Maybe...  For this week I just hope I get that silly wizard of oz skirt done before the dress rehearsal on tuesday!  Then maybe I will get my sewing machine put away and put the center piece back on the dining room table.  Maybe.... Not to mention the yard work I love to do but have been neglecting so far this spring because I can't be far from Clark and he hasn't exactly been outdoors portable with the feeding pump hooked to him.  I have very high hopes for my garden boxes, although the other day when we went in for surgery I left the seedlings outside for too long and fried a bunch of them... failure.  I have big plans of getting Christian going on his bike more and putting the future healthy Clark and Emma in the trailer and getting my thunder thighs on the bike trails around here.  Like I said, high hopes and big plans.  Honestly if anyone every told me the reality of how hard life really becomes, I blocked it out.  I read this today and I wish I would have learned it 15 years ago: 
"If you feel that personal righteousness should preclude all loss and suffering, you might want to have a chat with Job." [Elder D. Todd Christofferson]
Right now I find myself quite thankful that indeed I will not be having a chat with Job - I'm pretty sure he would want to... I don't know, throw cold water in my face or something, and tell me to wrap up the pity party and get on with it. 

Monday, May 4, 2009

He is SO small AND SO cute!!

Is Clark really almost 6 months old?  Some days I feel like he is still 4 weeks old and never sleeping.  Other days I feel like we have been doing this doctor, hospital, GI doc, weight check, feeding tube, medicine, back to doctor thing for years!  I have high hopes that surgery on friday goes well and that it will be the help Clark needs to start growing.  The other day at the park I saw a boy who was born 4 days before Clark and I realized that he should be about that size - and instead he is half the size of that little boy!
I feel good after meeting with the surgeon last week and I am thankful that such a good surgeon is right here in Denver where we live!  I watched the surgery online and feel like I have a good understanding of what is going to happen.  {It's called a Nissen}  For now we are NOT going to put in a g-tube button and see how he does after the surgery with feeding on his own and gaining weight.  Being able to nurse again all the time without the feeding tube is sounding dreamy to me!!
Enough of that talk.... here are some photos.  It's rare lately to have him be happy for very long so I am so glad I got it documented!   

Madeline and Savanna are SO excited they only have 3 weeks left of school.  Then a very L-O-N-G summer break until Sept 21 while we wait for the new school to be built.   {Watch out out of towners we might be showing up at your place for a visit!  :) }  We are all looking forward to a shorter drive to school along with a gym, library, lunchroom and playground, even a turf field out back!  Talk about going from extremes - tiny concrete slab to play on this year to all of that next year!  HORRAY for Charter Schools!!!  What's really hard to believe is that next year I will be dropping off 3 children at school - Christian will begin kindergarten!  wow!

I can hardly wait to see Savanna in her upcoming performance - Wizard of Oz.  Savanna is the CUTEST munchkin ever!   I better get busy this week with figuring out how to make her costume! 

Friday, May 1, 2009

Remembering Columbine

As I am sure you all heard on the news, April 20th was the 10th anniversary of the Columbine shootings.  My younger sister Kristen came home for the alumni activities, candle light vigil, and memorial service.  I was so glad I was able to spend some time with her and take the opportunity to remember as well.  I am so proud of her for overcoming adversity in her life.  She is an awesome person and I love her!

2319, 2319 We HAVE A 2319!!!

So you've seen Monsters Inc, right?
The CDA (Child Detection Agency) swoops in whenever there is a "2319" call to de-toxify any monster who may have made contact with a child or gotten some disease from a human sock!  (We LOVe that movie, its SO funny! :)  
So the other day I am unloading groceries (and by the way this proves that I have ADD) which for me means I bring in a few bags from the van and then I put a few things away and then I stop off in the laundry room and put the clothes in the dryer and then I bring in a few more bags.  So anyway, I was in the kitchen and the kids had gotten out of the van and headed
 straight out to the front and back yard to play in the beautiful weather (which promptly ended today) when from the garage Christian yells "2319, 2319 We HAVE A 2319!  Emma is in the van getting into things!"  SOOOO funny!  Sure enough, she had climbed back in and up to the front seat where she was gracefully dumping the contents of my on the go first aid kit (because kids need bandaids for EVERYTHING) and helping herself to other various items in my purse.  So we have all decided that it's a good idea to call a "2319" loudly anytime you discover Emma in destruction mode (which seems to be frequently).  So this past week's 2319 was when she
 stripped down (she hates wearing a diaper and continues to take them off all the time yet does not want to use the toilet?) and she had painted on herself with a fair amount of toothpaste.  Perfect.  

I am way behind (which is something I am perfect at, being behind;  so don't you EVER tell me you can't attain perfection in at least SOME areas) so I have a bunch of posts to try to do this weekend.  I love this blog because it has become a sort of journal for me where I am recording some things that have not made it into the scrapbook or journal so i love that it's written somewhere!  And if you get some smiles out of it along the way, even better!  
Still sailing, even if it is through toothpaste! ha!