Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Can the boy catch a break?

Oh Clark.  I'm so so so sorry for this boy.
Keep us in your prayers as he goes back into surgery on thursday morning.

He has a Hiatal Hernia again.  This is very uncommon in a child Clark's age and in fact there has never been in the history of Clark's surgeon (who pioneered the lapriscopic nissen fundoplication) a patient who re-occured three times.  How lucky Clark is!  Maybe we should play the lottery...

We love this boy so much and are so sad to know what he will be going through again.  On the bright side, this should allow him to begin to breathe normally again, not vomit his food randomly, and be a happy growing boy.
we love you Clarkie!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter

It's Easter Sunday and I know I should feel full of hope, renewed and joyful.

I have to confess that while I do feel those emotions generally for my Savior and for Easter, on a more personal and specific level I find myself weary, aching and wondering.  Perhaps that is how the man felt who came to Christ and asked for his son to be healed.  The Savior asked if he believed, and he answered, 'Yea, I believe; help thou my unbelief'.  I feel like I understand that answer.  I believe, Jesus Christ, I believe in you, I believe you are the son of God and that you can heal me.  I believe that you are my Savior and I believe that you have restored your church on the earth in modern times through Joseph Smith and that we are led by a prophet who communes with thee.  I believe in Holy Scripture and in miracles.  At the same time, I feel so broken and I wonder, how is it done?  Is it real?  Help me understand so I can be who I need to be.

I feel a bit like I am stuck in what Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin has called 'the Dark Friday of the Crucifixion'.  He says:
     "I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross. On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. Frightful storms lashed at the earth.

Those evil men who sought His life rejoiced. Now that Jesus was no more, surely those who followed Him would disperse. On that day those men stood triumphant.
On that day the veil of the temple was rent in twain.
Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, were both overcome with grief and despair. The superb man they had loved and honored hung lifeless upon the cross.
On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead—was Himself at the mercy of wicked men. They watched helplessly as He was overcome by His enemies.
On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled. It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God.
I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world’s history, that Friday was the darkest.

But the doom of that day did not endure.
The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.
And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.
Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, in this life or the next, Sunday will come."
I believe that Sunday WILL come, I do.  I feel deeply rooted in my faith and in the doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I also feel like I am living in a dark friday, and sometimes I wonder how all the pieces will be put together again.  And not just for me; for all the suffering in the world, for all those who are so sadly mistreated and denied priveledges.  I do belive that in the end it will all be RIGHT.  I confess,  I just don't understand HOW it will be right or WHEN or what am I going to do to wade through the pieces that are still lying around broken.  I do know that writing it out helps me and then I can break it down and work through it more effectively.  So forgive me my confessions, I'm sailing on to see when my Sunday will come. 
Happy Easter, with all my heart

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Moved by perfect love

As we approach Easter Sunday, I am overcome with emotion and moved by the perfect love of this young man.  Watch the video, I promise it's worth your time.

What a wonderful example of what the Savior WOULD do.  I want to raise my children to be that kind of person.  I better get to work on myself.
Happy Easter.

Friday, April 22, 2011

photo favorite

Could this boy get any cuter?  I have to give this photo credit to Madeline, I was inside cooking dinner.

have a great weekend,

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Vintage Easter - free download

I love vintage images.  I can't help but share at least one with you all!  Don't you love how the roosters are driving and handing out the eggs?  It makes me chuckle.
Also for a great free download head over to my sisters site and Rejoice in Christ!

Here is the link to download this image:

Easter Vintage - Truck

Monday, April 18, 2011

Flying: Lesson 9

Take time.
Life with a family is hectic.  It's anything but slow moving and restful.  It is jam packed with fun, excitement, emotions, sports, performances, arguing, quiet play time, imagination, school, homework, bicycles, reading logs, trampoline jumping, messes, growing, laundry, dirt digging, changes and a lot of broken things along the way.  It is in fact sometimes so hectic that I have to remind myself to take the time to enjoy what we are rapidly sprinting through.  Taking time is rarely convenient yet always rewarding.

Today I took some time with the kids home from school and we walked to the park to fly the kite, colored chalk and painted water on the driveway, made sugar cookies and played the wii.  I don't particularly enjoy playing the wii, I would rather watch the kids play  (ok unless it is Tetris).  Yet THEY love it when I play with THEM.  They love knowing that rather than watching from the kitchen while I start the dishwasher again, I'm stitting right there, elbow to elbow, hanging out with them.  It's amazing.

Speaking of taking time, I took some time today to observe how grown up Madeline is.  Wow.  I feel really old and tired now.
sailing on,

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Enough rock already!!!

I really really love spring.   Even more than that, I love growing gardens and lovely flowers.  I have to admit that as I recently drove past our previous home and saw all of the peonys, black eyed susans, lemon thyme, delphenium, and daisy's coming up tears came to my eyes.  Not to mention the asparagus, rasberries, huckleberry and blackberries in the back yard.  I fully intended to bring those peonys with me, after all I brought them there from our old place - I felt like they were mine since I discovered them only after ripping out huge fitzer bushes.  Yet the circumstances and rapidity of our move didn't allow me to.  I'm so sad.  Not only for the cost that it will take to replace everything but because I feel like they are mine and belong with me.  Oh well, boo hoo.  The most sad part is that at the new house all that is here is a really unhealthy lawn and rock.  Rock and rock and more rock.  If I see any more rock I am going to cry!  Anybody want some rock?  Come and get it!
Do you have any idea how much work it is to move rock?  Well its not going nearly as fast as I had planned and its heavy and hurts your back!  One side of the backyard looks like this:

I envision this space becoming something more like this:

ok, I know minus the lake in the background and all that extra fancy stuff.  I mean the garden part of it.  I have decided to committ to raised beds and I'm excited to see how I can maximize my square footage and learn more about what I can grow that my family eats.  I love walking out to the garden to make a salad.

I'm happy that our seeds are now seedlings.  I always enjoy growing from seed, I love that I am getting pure, heirloom varieties and in most cases have seeded my own plants from years past and have no additional cost in the seeds.
I'm also happy that the large and hairy wolf spiders we came across during our rock work were already dried up and dead.  The kids still wanted to keep them in a jar.  I suppose there is SOMETHING fascinating about them being so large.  Or creepy, if that's not your sort of thing.
I'm happy that I have some really great helpers as well.  It's a huge plus that they are cute too.
Let's hope for an energy filled, getting ready for Easter, rock disposing of, productive week!
sailing on in search of less rocks and more beauty,

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

3D temple Art

This was created by Savanna during General Conference.  Savanna creates such fun artwork so frequently that I often find myself taking it for granted.  As I was trying to decide when the appropriate time had passed that I could toss this particular one,  I began thinking how truly amazing she is.  (I know that makes me sound so mean but how much paper can I keep?  I scan most items though.) She thought up this idea all on her own, completed it and figured out how to make it all work out without a single question.  She truly is a creative brain!
There are so many things I love about her and yet so many things about her where I think 'Oh that is SOOO much like me, don't be like me, be better than me!'  She is an amazing artist.  She is impossible to get out of bed in the morning.  If I place her feet on the ground and make sure she is up before I go to another room, she gets in a bed in a different room.  It makes me a little crazy.  Her freckles melt my heart.  She has a fashion style that is truly her own.  She will spend hours setting up outfits and always makes sure that she has matching accessories, down to hair clips, scarves, jackets and purses.  She is an incredibly hard worker and is usually the last one helping Dad at the end of a family work project.  She is a fast runner and a great bike rider.  On family bikerides she goes up the steepest paths, down through the dirt, and still beats us home.  She is very helpful in the kitchen.  She has been known on many occasions to sneak craft supplies under her covers so she can work on art after I think she has gone to bed.  (which only adds to the problem of waking up in the morning!)  She is fun and happy.  She is the last one in the car 95% of the time.  We sure love her.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Flying: Lesson 8

It doesn't seem like a big deal yet it can change everything - your tone of voice, reaction, the way you feel, anything I tell you!  I have been experiementing with smiling more, especially while I am talking to my children.  I can tell this is working because it is driving a few of them crazy!  :) (Mom why are trying to be all happy all the time!??)  I have been reading the Happiness Project and it has given me some great things to think about.  I want to be a more happy person, yet I enjoy being real with people at the same time.  I think the solution is this:  Smile more and ENJOY life more, notice your blessings more and complain less.

I'm not going to pretend like this past week was my favorite one.  The day after Clark's stitches came out the cut re-opened, two days later he cut open the inside of his lip again.  We are still praying for more work to arrive here in Colorado (in the form of hail, please).  I keep telling myself that Heavenly Father would not have placed us here in this home after that terribly long hard road getting here if He didn't have a plan to help us have it all be ok.  I've had kids in breakdowns still sad about moving and still torn back and forth about whethere or not they want to switch schools.  They don't have any friends near us at all and its difficult to know what families might match up well with our own.  Yet, we had a lot of things to smile about.  My children did a fantastic job of completing their homework each night, we got a great start on the garden spot in the backyard, I found another really amazing ancient video camero for my camera collection, we laughed and tickled together, unpacked more boxes, got the basement a bit more straightened up, stopped for frozen yogurt 3 times (confession!).  Has that craze hit your city yet?  I remember it being here when I was about 9 as well and then it faded away.  It's back and its fun!  Almost as fun as a two year old discovering that oreo cookies cover his eyes quite well!

I had a conversation with one of my brothers this past week who recently lost a very dear friend unexpectedly.  That is exactly what he said - something like - 'I don't understand all the whys of this but in the end you have to go home and move forward, have faith, be grateful you are alive and have blessings, smile more and complain less'.

  I believe it.  As hard as it can be sometimes, it makes a huge difference for me to just SMILE.  When I smile its easier for me to remember too that again, The Lord's hand is there.  It's lifting, giving energy and gently pushing.  It's always there.
Sailing on,

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Moments of awesomeness (no extra charge)

Have you ever had a four year old crawl into YOUR bed shortly before six am,  insist on snuggling up to your face and touching you, smile at you, and say "Mom, can you not breathe on me?   Your mouth doesn't smell too good."
How can you not smile and kiss her on the head?  It's just so funny.  As if I forced her to come to my bed and put her cheek on my face!

Yesterday as we ran around between soccer and working on a garden spot in the backyard, dad working and stopping for a frozen yogurt treat,  I sat at this little round table eating frozen yogurt with my five children piled all around me thinking,  This really is fun.  It's awesome.  It's unforgettable.  Being a mother is great, hard, tiring, awesome work.

Today Sacrament meeting was unforgettable for reasons which are neither awesome nor fun.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Ribbon Curtain DIY tutorial

This girl's bedroom is in desperate need of some color.  I haven't painted the walls yet so adding this fun and easy curtain was a great start!
I love this ribbon from May Arts.  I love the width of this ribbon - it makes such a lovely statement when it is 2 and 3 inches wide, don't you think?  And I love how the ric rac is so wavy and feminine.
Here is how I did it:
I started out with some white muslin I have had in my stash for a long time.  Because I like to cut corners where I can, I used the width of the fabric so I didn't have to finish the side edges.  I tore the fabric to my desired length.  Then I proceeded to tear 3/4" strips of  fabric to add some ruffles later.  I tore 12 of these, as I needed 6 total so I added two together for the length I needed to ruffle with.  Then I tore 4 strips about 1.5" wide for my  bottom ruffles on each panel.

For the top opening which will slide onto the curtain rod I simply folded over the edge, tucked in the top again (so a small double fold as shown) and stitched straight across.

So here are my panels.  Believe it or not I did iron this before I started.  The fabric is thin and I pre-washed it a long time ago so it remained somewhat wrinkled which didn't bother me at all.  (Can you tell I am NOT a perfectionist?)

Now to the fun part.  I began pinning lenths of ribbon on each panel.  My four year old helped me on the other side and we laid them as straight as possible and she told me what order she liked them in.  I recommend using A lot of pins!

now that we had this laid out I began stitching each length of ribbon down.
I used white thread throughout and found that I like the contrasting stitches on each ribbon.  Don't you love this huge ric rac and that black and white diamond print?
After I had the ribbon on I decided I wanted ruffled edges.  To achieve this look I widened my stitch as far as it would go and loosened up my tension.    Then I stitched down the center all the way down the length of each stip of cloth (remember I sewed two together earlier to make them long enough to get a good ruffle).

After that, you simple pull gently on the bottom thread of each strip to gather the fabric, slowly working the ruffle all the way down the length.  Then pin it on each side and stitch down.  I like how the ruffle added across the top covers the beginning of the ribbons so you don't see the original stitching lines where I attached them.

I love how they turned out!  Better yet, Emma loves them and its her room so THAT is a victory.  I love how the black ribbon accents her black furniture and the walls will soon be a shade of pink!
What do you think?
Ribbon is awesome!  You can do anything quickly and easily.
I think I need more ribbon to add a pillow to her bed...
off to clean up....

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Pretty Packages

Following my sister's lead, I took a few minutes to make a pretty package for a friend to drop off on her birthday.  It's very small, nothing fancy, just a few handmade cards inside.  Yet delivering it made me and my children feel so happy - we got to see a friend who isn't so close by anymore and let her know how much we love her.

I was fortunate to grab some of these empty flower seed envelopes recently at the warehouse closing sale of Rocky Mountain Seed Co
  (92 years in business, how sad!  People buy those cheap factory produced seeds at walmart now and they just couldn't keep up!)  What I really wanted was one of those gigantic wall units made up of wooden drawers that was 100 years old - a seed cataloging wall unit - but at $2k they were just a bit out of my price range.  So I eneded up with a box of seed envelopes and other fun treasures. It was a fun warehouse to dig through!
I added a home made card to the top and tied it up with ribbon.  I know that I like to feel important and remembered and I'm so happy that for this day I did the remembering.
Thanks, Jennifer for reminding me to take a few minutes to wrap up something pretty!

Flying: Lesson 7

This week I un-learned everything I am trying to learn.  I was grouchy, cranky, bothersome and not patient.  Unlearning should be illegal.  Then general conference weekend came and I listened to all the things I've been taught before and haven't been doing very well.  That night I cried, went to bed and now I'm at it again; trying to REMEMBER and do what I know.  Back to the truth, do what matters.

this matters.

sailing on,

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Spoke too soon

I was just telling a friend this afternnoon that it has been about 5 days since Clark has had a cough, we are doing so great, it feels good to know we are all getting healthy again.  Why did I speak those words out loud?  Not two hours later I was standing about 2 feet away when this sweet boy decided to slide off the pole of the trampoline like sliding down a fire pole.  (Just as I said, hey buddy, can I help you down?) The only problem is that screw that holds the pole up connected quite well with the outside of his lip while his teeth did a great job of slicing through the inside of his lip.  And you know what?  He is asleep on my bed, coughing!

The thing I hate the most about stitches or any hurt in my children is that - and I'm not kidding here -  I can FEEL the hurt.  I can feel this twinge when I look at those stitches and I know for 2 seconds how much it is hurting him all the time.  I feel so sad for him to have more hurts.  It is so frustrating as a mother being SO CLOSE when things like this happen - I wonder - why didn't I protect him?  Why didn't I see that was going to happen?  I love this little boy so much.  I love that two days ago I was following him around watching him walk with his hands clasped behind his back.  I love how he carries cars and trucks around and how he loves he Momma.  I love it when he is healthy.  It's bad when you don't even want to finish off your chocolate ice cream.  Poor, poor baby.
It is saturday now and this boy is  just as sweet as ever.  He was such a good sport attending soccer and trying to eat a few bites of food here and there.  Oh I love him.

Friday, April 1, 2011

photo favorite

Out on a family walk - this expression was captured as she realized that she had left the house without a headband and her hair was in her face!  I love it.
Happy Friday,